This is truly a journal entry. The stream of thoughts came together in complete clarity. I knew it was time. I did what comes naturally. I immediately searched for the “right” journal to record the ideas that just entered my spirit. I have many options so I went to find the one. I stopped in my tracks. Be New, Be You, BEaUtiFUL (Be You to the Fullest), Marni. The blog will be your paper this time. Share with the world where you are in your journey…
Here I am sorting through it all, this massive undertaking and all of a sudden it hit me. I had to stop, I had to take a hiatus in order to BE me to the fullest. Seven full fast years of school (while working a full time job and a part-time job), four children (2 of whom are adults), five years practicing law in every area that I envisioned, six years in purpose (3 books, a CD, four tours, hundreds of proteges, hundreds of ”no coincidence” spiritual interactions with God only knows how many people, a non-profit organization-Chester Teens, Inc., speaking and seeking truth as an avocate for youth in three great national movements-Communities In Schools, The Metropolitan Wilmington Urban League and the YMCA) and the list goes on…
…So I’m literally sorting through it all; hundreds of pages (trainings attended, notes taken–and many of ya’ll know I take copious notes–workshops facilitated, keynotes written, stacks and stacks of Williams Enterprise Productions business records publishing documents and records, tour information, pictures, notebooks, books and books and more books (law school and college books, books selected for self-taught courses on everything from religious studies to African American studies to painting and drawing and non-profit management and…), etc. etc. etc.
Wow! It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin; I was supposed to embark upon this massive task of sorting after a full day in purpose, standing in the gap for youth, shining the light of hope in a generation of struggling youth, fighting a seemingly losing battle of getting the right people in the right places to the the right thing for the right reason, teaching my children, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, doing the laundry, cleaning, delagating other responsibilities as the manager of my home…(Wife, mother, employee, home manager, author, poet, artist…)
Stop! Spiritual creature first. Thank God for sending Joel to get my attention and to speak the truth. He was sent to tell me that I was running so fast I couldn’t hear the Voice of He who made me, understands me, loves me, cares for me, consoles me and thereby should guide me and direct my path. My time was consumed with the agenda and expectations of others, many of whom didn’t share the same values that I aspire to and self propelled “thoughts” of what I should do and how I should do it. I desperately needed a blank canvas, daily and moment by moment.
So on January 15th I was “free at last” (”thank God Almighty, I’m free at last”, by no coincidence on that day since I’m just realizing this significance as I write). I am greatful for the fulness of meaning in life and for understanding the reason, the season, the plan and the purpose.
So here I am having taken a leap of faith again, sorting through it all, hearing my Creator’s voice and sensing His call. I’m listening for the little instructions like how to organize, prioritize, store and manage all of this data, these ideas and desires, this vision. And that’s when it dawned on me. But not for this hiatus, it would not be possible. Hallelujah! I thank Elohim for this time to BE free to hear exactly what to do at every given moment. That’s freedom and this journal entry is a testimony of this journey. He stopped me in my tracks with loads of “stuff” on my office floor, outside my office and in my basement that still needs to be sorted and organized in preparation for what I shall do.
I pray that this will encourage and inspire many to stop, listen and heed the call to purpose. For we were not designed for the rat race. Your life has a purpose larger and greater than that.
“Take Courage To BE that which you are called to BE”.~Marni~Mariposa
And freedom writes:
“In the quiet place
His Spirit, His grace
Quiets my mind
Causes the canvas
Of my soul to erase
All strokes of self
All expectations others place
I await…
His Spirit shall replace
‘Far exceeding abundantly above all’
I could ever trace
And now flowing freely in his grace, in this place
He paints anew on my heart
And now eager to start
This New journey to embark”
Marni~Mariposa
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: Hiatus in the Journey
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I am so excited about February 2007! 2-2007 is certainly the beginning of something new and great! I’m pleased to share with you all that God is doing in the midst of stepping out in faith. On February 7th and 8th, I will be the guest speaker for the English Department Cohort Groups at Delaware Technical and Community College. This is a divine appointment to impact the lives of dozens of young people in a unique, intimate manner over a two day period (merely a few hours, respectively). I believe that the course of our lives will be influenced greatly by our interaction at the appointed time. In the same atmosphere, Delaware Technical and Community College, I will be featured for their Black History Month Poetry Slam. This will involve 90 minutes of sharing the journey, poetry and passion.
I am no stranger to Del Tech as we so fondly refer to this important institution. I was connected to it for 5 years through Communities In Schools, the largest stay in school network in the nation. I was blessed to usher many students through the halls of “college” to dispel the idea in their minds that they were not college material. The On Track Program headed by a wonderful man named Louis Vangieri afforded high school students college credit while learning the nuts and bolts of transitioning to college. It was at Del Tech where I was blessed to honor many CIS students at 3 annual banquets. And it was at those banquets that I watched, through tear filled eyes, many proteges deliver speeches, songs and various presentations. And it was at one of those banquets that I first presented a poem entitled, “To My Mentees With Love”. I have fond memories of eathing lunch in the cafeteria with my students and friends (CIS family). It was there that I met my buddy Gary James, one of the best gourmet chefs in town, and I mean that. (Gary catered all of the CIS functions through Del Tech and manages two campus cafeteria systems). Gary has been good to me in catering my launch of Mere Presence through, not one, but two blizzards (I declare he was calm as a cucumber and helped ease my anxiety) and hookin’ a sista up at the evening of Jazz function at my house. It was at a writers conference at Del Tech (which, by the way was concelled due to a blizzard in February and rescheduled for April) that I delivered the poem Mercy to the audience where, by divine appointment the only man who could have produced my first CD sat hearing the music as I spoke the words. His name is Raymond Purnell and the production of the CD was truly a great and amazing experience. In the same atomosphere, I have delivered keynotes for the Start Now Initiative through a beautiful sister, Victoria Granison. I’ll never forget receiving my first call from her. I was at Epcot (Orlando, Florida) with my children, my mother, my sister and neices and the speaking engagement was just days after I returned home. I tell you, one thing does lead to another.
Finally, on February 14, 2007, I will be honored to attend a planning meeting for the upcoming Strong Communities Conference, sponsored by the YMCA of the USA. This is the culmination of many connections in a national movement after merely one year. Jarrett, Mike and Jo are trailblazers in the movement having hosted a truly groundbreaking and moving “Urban Symposium” in Charlotte recently. I will be posting a poem I wrote and presented at that conference in a later entry. I was deeply moved and inspired by the thoughfulness, creativity, ingenuity and courage that went into the planning and delivery of the conference within the movement.
The theme is an appointment in time or the appointed time. As God reveals more to me on this subject, I will share in greater detail. We’ve said for quite some time that God’s timing is perfect. The concept of the appointed time is a deeper level of understanding of this idea.
The beauty of the appointed time is it requires a new level of freedom and a deep sense of calling and purpose. And those things only convene concurrently at…the appointed time.
I sense a season of a multiplicity of appointments in time. This is the appointed time for greatness.
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: The Appointed Time
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Up all night
Energy at full flight (felt like 7 at 10, everyone around me spent~good night~ except my youngest girl, felt like 6 and my youngest son, the night owl, I guess since birth)
Spirit within me
Shining mightily
Beacon of light
For all the world to see
I been goin’ back in time
stopin’ on ole paths all mine
Reminisce like Mary say
Memories flashin’ through my head
I remember
Time to remember
Wealth of connectedness
Multiplicity of systems
Fly butterfly fly
Sing birdy sing
Go girl go
BE daughter BE
For now shall wisdom embrace
The Creator’s glory
Now you face
To reflect only his glorious light
All love and mercy
No hatred, no spite
Keep watch girl
Through the night
Then step into the light
Then step into the light
Been up all night
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: The Appointed Time
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I need no
Validation
From the realm of this world
To be
What
I AM
Called me to BE
Following la inner compass to FREEDOM
Marni~Mariposa~
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: BEing
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On February 7th and 8th, I had an amazing experience at Delaware Technical and Community College, which far exceeded my expectations. I want to thank Victoria Granison, Dr. Thomas, all of the instructors, the students, Tracy Miles and the wonderful folks in security for giving of self, listening, sharing, absorbing, affirming and BEing. It was because of everyone that we were able to experience the awe of true inspiration. Thank you for living (BEing) in the moment. I pray that everyone was inspired to “Create A Balance for a New You” as the result of the lecture/poetry/sharing experience. Thank you for the comments written on my milestone poem which was signed in 2003. And thank you for sharing what was a pivotal moment in my growth, transformation and launching to new levels in purpose. I look forward to returning to campus on February 19th for the poetry event (Thanks Rachel for remembering me and ushering in an important component to this divine appointment).
Unto the Elohim, the Almighty, BE the glory! Hallelujah!
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: The Appointed Time
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The weeks, the days leading up to February 7th, 2007: preparing, praying, listening, reading (the FYE First Year Experience Packet, written by Dr. Thomas). What an experience in and of itself! By no coincidence, I was selected to lecture/motivate on the FYE for 6 cohort groups (combined classes). I was given the awesome task of enlightening the material, a 114 page packet of information about us as spiritual, physical, mental and emotional creatures, among so many other things. This turned out to be a wonderful journey for me. As a college student of sociology, psychology, philosophy, biology, etc. (social and behavioral sciences) and a life long learner of theology, purpose, meaning and truth, I was taken on a journey back through my life, as I pieced together how and why I was able to powerfully engage a multiciplicy of “systems”. At the same time, I was well aware that to the average first year college student, the material might be very difficult to grasp (I grasped it so quickly based on my knowledge and experience). Who better then, I thought, to illuminate it! This is truly a divine appointment.
The day before the divine appointment, in quiet time of praise and worship, I was given a fortified inner spirit and I knew a breakthrough had occurred. I walked in a spirit of power and love! I was not the same. So when adversity hit later that day, the fortified spirit within steadied my course and enabled me to overcome unto the 7th with power and love and a sound mind!
February 7th, 5:00 a.m. and I was prepared. The candles, books, CD player, the notebook, the easel, my paintings, the signs that I prepared for the walls, business cards, give-aways, everything was ready. I was ready to step into a new arena of faith.
I looked outside and it was snowing. Was the event postponed? Would the college open late? I visited the snow closing website and what I saw was peculiar. All of the schools from my town and south were delayed or closed and none of the schools in Wilmington or New Castle were closed or delayed. My chidren had a two hour delay. That meant that I had to get through the snow to the college within the same time frame as if there were no snow on the ground.
By the grace and mercy of God, I arrived at the college with an hour to set up. As many times as I have been to the college, this was the first time that I arrived in the hustle and bustle of the morning rush. Cars filed into the parking lot and students walked quickly into the building, eager to get to class. I could sense the flow of energy flowing into the building.
I was able to unload the car with an easel, three of my paintings, two boxes and two bags, set up the room (posters on the wall, display set up and stage set with all of my materials) in no time. When I arrived in the room, one of the first classes was already there early. I welcomed the opportunity to interract with the students as I set up. This pre-lecture interaction became a theme for each session and enhanced the connection with each group. On several occassions, I integrated the pieces of our conversations right into the lecture. It was great!
I have to say that the two days were simply amazing. The prepared message was the same, but I was led to deliver it in a different manner six times. The students were inspired, I was inspired. My anticipation of growth and “newness” didn’t compare to what I actually experienced.
Here are a few of the students’ comments:
“There is greatness in you.” –Audrey –Thanks Audrey. There is greatness in you! I hope you enjoyed the book.
“Thank you . You are such an inspiration to me! Everything you said touched me in some way. You are beautiful inside and out. Thank you. God bless.”– Kierra Thank you Kierra. God Bless.
“You are awesome, you really touched me. Thank you.” –Christian Thank you Christian. You are special. God Bless.
“You were very insightful. All the luck and all my blessings.” –Cierra Thank you, Cierra. Embark upon your journey!
“Finding myself is a journey I plan on taking. Thanks again.”– Natalie Thank you, Natalie. You got it, girl!
“Thank you for showing me a new purpose and blessing me.” –John Thank you, John for blessing me!
“Thanks for your insight on life.” — Sean Thank you, Sean. Take the insight and be new.
“Thanks for everything. You really gave me insight.” –MiMi Thanks MiMi. I also received so much from you all.
Thank you for signing the frame of my poem, “Rise” and thank you Victoria, Dr. Thomas and all of the wonderful instructors at Del Tech. The experience was truly awesome.
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: The Appointed Time
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I literally went behind bars to attain a new level of freedom and I want to thank the beautiful women at the prison for accepting me and allowing me to be totally me.
I really didn’t know what to expect. I’ve been in a prison before as an Assistant District Attorney, but this would be very different. This divine appointment followed a busy string of several poetry engagements, which included a stop at Calvary Baptist Church. I went back home to the church I grew up in to receive an amazing anointing and blessing. Thank you Uncle Jerry for listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. That was great, and I really anticipated this next opportunity to minister.
After checking in with the corrections officer, leaving my identification and receiving my vistor’s badge, I awaited the arrival of Ms. Gwen (from my church, New Life International), who arranged my visit to the drug and alcohol unit that she supervises. I was flooded with compassion as I entered the facility through the side-moving heavy secured door knowing that in an hour I would emerge on the other side, but the women there would not. Ms. Gwen escorted me to her office and directed my attention to the atrium area a few feet down the short hallway. I could see that some people were seated in the area, but I couldn’t see how many or how large the space was.
As I stepped into the atrium area and into the bright natural sunlight shining into the room through the skylight above, I enhaled the gasp and spontaneous applause of the room. I exhaled the beauty, vulnerability and energy of the women who sat seated on my right and my left (about 65 in all) and immediately felt the warmth of the unconditional love of the Almighty. At that glorious moment, I knew I was free to deliver the poems and musical verse, the familiar and the new pieces, the trials and tribulations, the joy and the pain.
They were inspired. I was inspired. It was an incredible experience. I dedicate my poem, “Peace Like A River” to the women at Baylor who enabled me to dig to deeper depths and a larger portion of anointing. Hallelujah! Every time I’ve delivered that poem since then, it has been a blessing. Thank you to the young lady who requested an additional song just before I left. She inspired me to write a new poem, “Grace Amazing and True”. I can’t wait to go back to do that poem which follows a verse of Amazing Grace (the song that she suggested that I sing).
Thank you to the women who, in their separation from family, loved ones and children, gave to me as much inspiration to me as I gave to them. I will carry the tears shed, smiles and appreciation within me.
Posted by marniwil at 10:32 AM. Filed under: Uncategorized
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